Jewish funeral in Indianapolis: the first 24 hours

The first hours, in order

In the first hours there are two decisions that must be made today and many that can wait. The order below is the order that spares a family the most.

1. Call the Jewish funeral home first — not the cemetery. The funeral home brings the deceased into their care, contacts the cemetery and the rabbi, arranges the chevra kadisha and a shomer, and knows what every office in this guide needs. If a hospital or hospice asks which funeral home, name a Jewish one; if the death was at home, the funeral home tells you whom to call.
2. Call your rabbi, or ask the funeral home to. The rabbi guides the family through the day, leads the service, and answers the questions about custom and law that come up in the hours ahead. If the family has no rabbi, the funeral home and the Federation's chaplaincy can find one.
3. Decide where. If there is a family plot or a synagogue cemetery, say so; the funeral home confirms the space is available. If not, the cemeteries in this guide marked as selling to the public or confirmed by their office are the place to start, and the funeral home will call the offices for you. Take the time the family needs to choose well; the funeral home and the rabbi will tell you what timing is possible.
4. Decide when. Jewish tradition favors burial soon after death, and funerals are not held on Shabbat or festivals. Within that, the funeral home proposes a time once the cemetery and rabbi are confirmed, and the family's needs — people travelling, a rabbi's availability — shape it. Your rabbi will guide you on what is right for your family.
5. Let the rest wait. The monument, the wording, the meal of consolation menu, the thank-you notes, the estate — none of it belongs to today. Ask one relative or friend to hold the list of what can wait, and to keep it away from the mourners.

What the funeral home handles, and what the family decides

A Jewish funeral home does far more than transport. It brings the deceased into its care from the hospital, hospice or home; arranges the tahara with the chevra kadisha and a shomer to stay with the deceased; supplies the tachrichim and the plain wooden aron; confirms the grave with the cemetery and the time with the rabbi; files the death certificate and permits; and tells the family what to bring and when. The family decides four things, and only four, today.

If the death was in a hospital or hospice

Tell the nurse or the social worker that the family wants a Jewish funeral home and name one; the hospital releases the deceased to the funeral home, not to the family, and will hold them until the home arrives. Hospice staff do the same and often already know the Jewish homes in the area. Jewish tradition generally avoids autopsy and embalming. If a hospital raises either, ask your rabbi before deciding — hospitals accommodate the question when it is asked promptly, and a Jewish funeral home will know what to do.

If the death was at home, call the funeral home; it will tell you whether the police or a physician must be called first in Indiana, and it comes when they are done.

If the death was away from home

Two funeral homes are involved: a Jewish one where the death occurred, and the one near the cemetery. Call the one near the cemetery first — the home near Indianapolis if the burial will be here — and let it arrange the transfer; funeral homes do this between themselves every week, and one bill is simpler than two. Burial in Israel is also arranged through the local Jewish funeral home. Tell the hospital or hospice where the death occurred that the deceased is Jewish and that a funeral home will call them.

The chevra kadisha, and the words you will hear

• Chevra kadisha. The burial society — volunteers who prepare the body for burial with tahara and stay with it until the funeral. Every community has one; the funeral home knows how to reach it.
• Tahara. The washing and preparation of the body by the chevra kadisha, done with prayers and in privacy. It is a kindness the deceased cannot repay, which is why it is considered among the highest.
• Shomer / shemira. The person who stays with the deceased, reading psalms, from death until burial — so that the body is never left alone.
• Tachrichim. Plain white linen shrouds, the same for everyone. A Jewish funeral home supplies them.
• Aron. The casket — plain wood, without metal, so that it returns to the earth. Sometimes called a kosher casket.
• Levaya. The funeral, literally 'accompanying' — the service and the walk to the grave. Mourners and friends help fill the grave; it is the last kindness.
• Kriah. The tearing of a garment or a ribbon by the mourners before the funeral, a visible sign of loss.
• Shiva. The days of mourning after the burial — traditionally seven — when mourners stay home and the community comes to them: with meals, with prayers, with company. How shiva is observed, and how Shabbat and festivals affect it, varies by community and family; the rabbi will guide you.

Customs differ between communities and between families, and your rabbi decides what is right for yours. Nothing on this page is a ruling.

Rather have a funeral home call you? Send the request at the top of this page ↑